Deborah Spooner
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With choppy movements, the tiny fingers slide the pen across torn paper.
It was one of four weekly babysitting jobs, 
and I recorded some wonder I witness from 
these delightfully hilarious kids, 
kids who unceasingly lead me deeper and deeper 
into the heart of God.

My night was flowing with anything and everything from the kids' imagination.

1.  I got turned into Elsa (blue dress and everything) and was instructed to freeze my sister's heart.
2.  One of the girls and I became pineapple juice.
3.  I had to go to the evil queen who would find the most fairest of all.
4.  "Olaf" got a haircut.
5.  I learned some new names: Trego, Venti, Cherioke, Beecama, Toe-morie-a, and Cray-do.
6.  I learned how to spell: Abcgtsb = Elsa!

My Elsa outfit :)

We had story-time.
I started telling a story, and  two of the little girls took turns telling their own.

Snip-bits from story-time:
He went off to the buttons?  To go see the Nutcracker?  Said la la la do do do? THAT'S CRAZY!
She got to be the king ... the heart was beating so fast ...
Do you have a story about a talking donkey?  Like, a giant donkey?
They grabbed the birds, polar bears, and penguins and hugged them ... then put them in a cage.
I wrote it all down for the troll, and he like snored!
There's an even badder one; the lion fell down!
There was pigeons.  The end.

The little hands that had written down our stories belong to a dramatic girl with 
a love of languages who intertwined truth into a story well beyond her five years.

The story according to a five year old.

She began, "When I was a little girl ... the bread was screaming ... it was a stormy and scary story and, even though she was hurt, she was still turned into batter.  She was hurt and looked at a church and saw Jesus ... even if you're hurt or alone ... have something better for you ... more than camp ... everywhere you go, everything you see ... there's more you don't see ... we love ... for something more better ..."

As she continued weaving her story with serious concern, those words I just recorded beamed a message we all need to hear more often:
Even if you're hurt or alone, your Father is doing something greater.
In everywhere we go and everything we see, there's more we would see if we let our Abba show us.
We have a love that can make this world a better place.


Through little feet that patter against the hard floor, through tiny hands that grasp a small doll, through the big, brown, beaming eyes,
God's fingerprints are evident.

Through words weaving an intricate story, God is whispering:

The pain, I redeem.  I am moving through you so that my kingdom advances.
My will is being accomplished as you surrender the broken fragments 
of the life you sometimes feel is too shattered to be useful anymore. 

Each tear you cry in the lonely darkness is known to me,
your comforter and helper.  I am here by you and will never leave;
are you going to come to my arms?


I have so much more to show you than what you see through self-consumed or task-oriented vision.  People are hurting.  The world is bleeding and fragmented.  You are my tangible
hands; come and know my heartbeat and gain my vision.

You get to show 
my 
love.


 I am here all around you making a grand story of my glory - in the fragile, in the messy, in the smashed goldfish and wet teething rings - I.  am.  here,
if only you would look. 


May we see with God's eyes and find His delight and purposes 
in all He plants in our path.
May we step out in what He has called us and
 do every task, no matter how mundane, with our whole hearts
so that wherever we are, we are fully there.

May we be brave to share our stories as the five year old shared her's. 
(In fact, she told me it was for a party, and that I can tell this to everyone.)

The world needs to see the hand of God.

(And next time you get a phone call, be ready; it just may be Princess Anna from Frozen calling to say there's a rainbow in her arm that you can slide on.)

 © 2014 Deborah Hope Shining



The cup sits on the white cloud of college envelopes,
envelopes which are much more than just mail to be sifted through.

Each one added to the pile is blaring a message.

Come here; our campus is the most gorgeous! 
Want to travel and discover the world?  Our college is for you!
Big dreams.  Big opportunities.  Schedule a visit and explore your future today.
  
Some even dare to get flashy.

You've been chosen!  
Your accomplishments really make you stand out from the crowd.
We're proud of you.

Regardless of the marketing scheme, these messages on envelopes manage to stir something deep within.

Each one added to the pile is emitting a whisper.

You are getting close to finishing high school; what are you really going to devote your life to?
The world is a competitive place; do you actually have something to offer?

The whispers swirl within, continually invading deeper spaces.

What if I completely screw up and miss God's plan?
Am I anything special?
Will dreams ever be realized?
What does it even feel like to dream with abandon again?

One touches the core in an immobilizing intimidation:

What if I'm heading in the wrong direction?

Fear is like a cold and thin plastic bag which, placed over our heads, suffocates and confuses, for it lets in enough light and allows vision to be just clear enough that we almost believe what we see is unclouded reality.

Doubt is like a sticky substance thinly coated over fingers which allows us to touch, create, and accomplish but not to the best of our ability as we can never have full contact.

The suffocating view through fear's lens and the hindering doubt entangle so easily.

God, can You be trusted?
Lord, what does total surrender really mean?

As the college envelopes keep coming, I am kept continually reminded of how 
small 
and
fleeting
our one existence on this life is.

One chance - 
to heal wounds, to warm hearts, and to fight battles.

One chance - 
to seek God's face while He may be found.

We cannot know the future.  
Sometimes, it seems impossible to even know our next step, at that.
But, we are not the one in charge of this grand story of God's glory,
are we?

A man plans in his heart, but the LORD determines His steps (Proverbs 16:9).

Our Abba has given us not only a light unto our path, but also a lamp unto our feet.
It's far too easy to get caught up in wishing for the light to illuminate our whole path
that we are not content with what's in the lamplight here and now.
No, we may not know every step of our lives, but we do know what is ultimately in the light of our life's journey: to know God and to make Him known.  And, here in the lamplight, there is glory and peace unbounded.  Reaching those with whom our paths coincide with love overflowing,  dancing in our Abba's presence, and doing that which he has for us in
every   step   the   lamplight   reveals   next.

The path may be unlit.
Our own insufficient knowledge and control over our own lives may be frustrating.

But if we are always waiting for complete light, 
we will never learn what it is like to be a wholehearted
follower
of our Savior.

 When we trust our Maker with our lives -
that His plan is greater than any we could create for ourselves,
that his love is deep enough to hold us ever step of the way,
that He is working in wonderful and mysterious ways no matter what we see and feel,
that He will never leave

When we surrender all that we are - 
our dreams,
our hopes,
our fears, doubts, and failures

we.  are.  freed.

Through a trust that shouts - God is good
and
a surrender that sings - God is greater
even when the whispers are escalating and the way is so, so dark
we.  are. freed.
to discover that there is such joy in the lamplight.
When all we can see is His face,
we learn a beautiful dependence and intimacy with the King;
the only one who will remain no matter where the light leads.

Though our vision may be slight, our God is the author of light.
With our heart in His hands our joy found in surrendering to His plans,
we.  are.  freed.
Though our hearts may bleed,
our hearts can cry
in trust: O Lord, you can have everything;
in surrender: O Lord, I am Yours for anything.

Although the white cloud of envelopes still awaits, of this I can be certain:
If our God is for us, who can be against?

© 2014 Deborah Hope Shining


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About Me

Deborah Spooner is an analytical creative enamored by ideas and addicted to dripping words in candor. Serving as a Marketing Strategist for LifeWay’s Adults Ministry, she loves all things big-dreaming, difference-making, and Jesus-pointing. A pastor’s daughter with a background in communications and theology, you can find her at her local church with her students (and probably way too excited about the color yellow) as she seeks to know Christ more and make Him known.

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