Deborah Spooner
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The footsteps echo down the hallway as each door is passed.

Each door offers a
new direction for our lives.
It's up to us to choose.


As the journey down the hallway continues,
one door seems to magnetically draw us towards it.

We all face this door,
the gateway on which the self-created, tormenting image blares
the face of who we wish we were,
the embodiment of our fervent desires for our lives.

We are facing this dangerous door in captivation.


 Mental anguish seeps down into our souls and tares our lives apart.
The entrapment inside our minds traps our hearts from full dedication.

Standing fixated in the doorway, we are enchaining ourselves.

Why am I  never the person I desire to be?
Why does my life lack the fulfillment and quest I crave?
What about my empty existence is grating against my bones?
 
There is a pulse existing within.
The love of the story courses through our veins.
We thrive off the chase, the run, the persevering, the challenges, and the overcoming.


We love to read of and watch heroes,
yet we often forget that we are living in a story;
we are playing out the story of our lives,
a story written by God as our names are already written in a book:
the Book of Life.


There is another perspective to the obstacles we face and the choices we make:
that of the Heavenly realm.
This. is. war,
and we are surrounded by a cloud of witnesses (Hebrews 12:1).
God sees us not through our warped perspectives but sees the eternal significance of each choice.

Each second counts.
Each breath matters.

We are longing to live our story.

We dream of heroes.
We cling to the images of our lives a little more fulfilled.

We fixate on the door emblazoned with a life we could live.


We long to fight for a cause,
                                                                                                                                 but we stare at doors.

We long to feel the strain of being challenged and productive,
                                                                                                                                but we stare at doors.

We long to rally to a cause bigger than our meager existences,
                                                                                                                                 but
                                                                                                                                 we
                                                                                                                                    stare
                                                                                                                               at
                                                                                                                                     doors.

This fight has not been put in us for nothing.

We admire the one who perseveres because we are made to be the one who perseveres.
We uphold the one who overcomes because we are made to be the one who overcomes.
We love the heroes because God has made us to be the heroes for His Kingdom.

This fight has not been put in us for nothing.
These dreams and desires have been purposefully planted by God.


He is standing at the other side of the door, at the other end of our hopes for ourselves, 
beckoning us
to push past the image on the door.

Truly,  with our eyes and hearts fixated on anything but Jesus,
we are sinning.


Beyond our images and through our doors,
God is calling us to embrace Him,
not our hopes or fears for our lives.
These enchain us because,
when we refuse to look past our seemingly good desires for ourselves,
we limit ourselves -
limit our trust in God,
our surrender to His will,
our focus on His calling,
a life directed by Him.

 We must kindle the heavenly passion and drive inside
and start fighting against the right enemy;
we are to embrace Christ 
and fight our old nature and every temptation to fixate on anything but Him;
we are not embrace our old nature
while defiantly pushing away Christ.


He is whispering to us.
He has plans for us right here.
He has plans for us beyond those we hold for ourselves.
He is speaking to our hearts
if only we would stop fighting our surrender but trust and embrace
Him.

No longer must we dwell on our image which seems illusive and
idolize our own plans for ourselves
but live in the excitement He already has for us as we journey and enjoy His presence.

These doors are looming,
demanding responses.

We can choose to leave our image
and embrace God's image for us,
an image found in embracing Him.

It's up to us.



 © 2014 Deborah Hope Shining



When you're grasping in the darkness,

when you've taken the step and are
drenched
in the blackness as you strive,   strive,    strive ...

Nothing has changed -
                                         your vision is still barely existent
                                         the same imagined shapes still haunt the distance
                               the doubts still encircle your heart in a suffocating cloud of anguished questioning
Nothing has changed,
                                         except the movement of your feet and the decision deep within your soul.

The darkness still presses,
and you are without certainty.
Is this attempted walking even leading anywhere?
How is patience to be maintained in the falls?

The bruises on your knees only reflect the bruises you feel have implanted themselves on
your soul
from this toiling called living.

When you're groping in the darkness,
the darkness can be all you see.

But there are whispers that you can hear,
whisperers from the one who is light himself, who guides and leads
perfectly.

"I will never leave.
I did not say life would be easy, but I said
I would be with you.
I did not say that I would take away your problems, but I gave you a way to overcome.
I said I AM"

That. Is.  Always.  Enough -
                                                enough to sustain,
                                                                 strengthen, 
                                                                 empower,
                                                                 encourage.
I said I AM.

You said: God, I will go; Lord, I will follow.  I'm yours.

Though you cannot see as you're groping in the darkness, you have my presence.  my truth.
As you obey my call in the darkness,
I am making a way.
I know what lies within the black, within the uncertainty, within the lack of understanding.

I ask your trust.
                 I ask you to keep pouring your life out in pursuit of me.
                                    I say to you, "Child, you are mine."

With your heart in my hands and your life found surrendering to my plan,
you
are
mine.

Have faith.  Hope is not lost.

I AM.

© 2014 Deborah Hope Shining
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About Me

Deborah Spooner is an analytical creative enamored by ideas and addicted to dripping words in candor. Serving as a Marketing Strategist for LifeWay’s Adults Ministry, she loves all things big-dreaming, difference-making, and Jesus-pointing. A pastor’s daughter with a background in communications and theology, you can find her at her local church with her students (and probably way too excited about the color yellow) as she seeks to know Christ more and make Him known.

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