It's Just Gonna Be Tough Sometimes

School started for me this week.

I'm doing online college classes this year, and I have a confession:

I.  love.  it.

Seriously.  I'm only two and a half days into school, and I feel so excited, so alive, so happy, and so ready to use my energy to make a difference in the world.

That's not always the case with school (or with life, either).

In fact, just yesterday I was dangling my feet in a friend's pool while talking with my sister.  I finally was expressing things turmoil-ing within me to another human.  For one, I realized I don't do that very often, and two, I realized how life can just be so... big.  overwhelming.  hopeless.

I felt like I have no one in my life,
like I am no one,
and that I do nothing.

Sure, that all I know deep down is not true, but, let's just be real, feelings are still there even if they aren't true.

Yet, here I am, sitting at my kitchen table with my computer put in the middle of my school mess as my sister works across from me, and I am hit by simple truths.

Some days are just gonna be tough days.
Some moments are just gonna feel hopeless.
Some questions are just gonna feel too big.


Some days are gonna have ways to make you smile that you can't even imagine.
Some moments are going to be filled with sprinting outside, text singing to your friend, and sitting just working alongside another human, and you are gonna feel a fullness that feels so encompassing and so undeserved.
And some answers are going to work there way through, just you wait.

So, don't give up.
Don't give in to the hopelessness. 

Just take a deep breath, and learn to roll with it.
Bad days are gonna come,
but just hold on.
The sunrise is coming.

© 2014 Deborah Hope Shining


I definitely don't want this to be a monologue. What are your thoughts? Questions? Ideas?