Why You Need to Deal With it Now || of unfinished drafts and an unfinished life

I'm looking.

I've been scanning through all the posts that I have on my admin side of this blog. It turns out that I'm nearing having as many "drafts" as I have "published posts."

And that's ridiculous. I have posts that are half finished (some totally completed) and some that are actually posts about what kind of posts that I need to write.

Half-Finished. Half-Starteds. Half-Full of half formed ideas about this (not even) half of a normal life span that I've been living.

These unfinished posts and half-explored ideas are not where the incomplete ends for me, though.

I've started a lot of things.

I've started a new schedule for increased productivity.
I've started a new plan to actually engage in my quiet time more consistently.
I've started a new plan for how to keep pursing my dreams.
I've even started a plan of how to live a happy life.

And I know what you're thinking: "it's not how you started but how you finished that counts" (at least that's what I'm thinking). But I cannot stand clichés lately. And that is not where this post is going to head.

((Because, honestly, how you start really does matter. It's not just that you finished--what that cliché is really getting at. Starting can be ridiculously hard. Ushering up all that gumption to begin and having the courage to even risk the thought of failure is laudable. And sometimes, you can actually finish badly. You can finish more depressed than when you began. You can finish with worse relationships and worse health. Really, starting and finishing and which actually matters is a mute point. So much as to do with how you define your terms of "mattering" in the first place)).

Why you need to deal with it now, why unfinished drafts and an unfinished life are so detrimental, is because clutter can kill and ideas can leave and motivation can evaporate.

You have something in your heart, so you start; you write down the idea. You make the phone call. You write the post.

Yet one of the most scary realities that I am noticing is when we have an idea but let distraction distract us from the very power and beauty that can be found in the pursuit of these desires.

You only can learn some lessons when you are in the thick of pursing.

And, if you never start pursuing anything, you never can see how these desires you're pursuing may change. If you never start with that goal you've been having, with that experience you want to try, with that idea you want to explore, you're never going to see if this dream is really one that you have or find out what another dream might (actually) be.

Don't wast the moment; Don't wait on your passions; Don't waste your energy.

Because the moment quickly passes; your passions can quickly fade; you energy is all too quickly spent. And your half-ideas will build up with a weight that can make pursuit of anything-later on-feel like a half-hearted chase. 

The halves have built up halves have built up halves have made you into half of what you could be. made your life into (maybe) half of what it should be.

When you're living "half," the world only gets half of you. Actual people you've been graced to regularly interact with only get half of what you are capable of giving.

This half-life isn't just a disservice to yourself. It's a disservice to those around you. It's a disservice to the King who made you capable to living (whole) in the first place.

I don't know about you, but I'm deeply to prone to half. I'm scared of going all in and the commitment that brings (because what if I'm wrong?). But I'm staring at a massive pile of unfinished drafts that reflect some of my unfinished approach at life. 

I'm sick of halves.
I don't want to invest in my life with half of my heart.

Here's to living (whole) hearted -- mistakes, failures, imperfections, fears, and all.
© 2016 Deborah Hope Shining


I definitely don't want this to be a monologue. What are your thoughts? Questions? Ideas?