what's the best part about being back visiting in nashville?

it's the easy.

the way my phone automatically connects to the Bluetooth speakers when I walk in the door, how the chips are still behind the right white cabinet door, when I leave the song on repeat because I know you do that too, as I sidestep the blanket on the floor because the dog is wrapped within.

and i notice the differences more too, peeking out amid the same.

I blow dry my hair now, more eye shadowed eyeliner sits under my eyes, suddenly I think it's cold here, I'm almost confident when we car harmonize, I think it's crazy gas is under $4, my words are tailored by a newfound given up-never-giving-up wrestling.

and I feel a stillness that these walls, this city did not yet know--a stillness that only comes from another breaking built off what was built here. and I'm thankful. maybe this is what it feels like, closer to not just sitting on the shores of peace, but having learned the cadence of courage to dip in my toes.

I miss. but I know there's a sort of missing I would have if I would have stayed. and it doesn't sting less but sings deeper to a place inside of me, being imprinted in a way that's implanting less of me and unlocking more. I want to learn what it means to love, fabric laughing at distance and lighting up in hope of a not too distant forever.


I definitely don't want this to be a monologue. What are your thoughts? Questions? Ideas?